What’s worse is when women can’t talk about their feelings honestly. Men can feel guilt over using someone just for the sex – but that’s about it.Men get emotionally hurt, but much less than women (IF the sex is purely casual).I have mentioned cognitive dissonance in part 1 of this series, and I think that’s relevant in this context (of when one looks back and thinks it is good sex).
The more a man gets involved with lots of women, the more jaded he can become, and the less innocent, which makes him less fresh and valuable emotionally (for a long term relationship).And I theorise that we think this way because when we keep letting in the wrong people over and over, we lose valuable emotional energy and innocence to be spent in the higher value mates. Yes, men suffer from engaging in casual sex too, because they become known as a womanizer, and women are less likely to invest emotionally in them. We forget that this isn’t just a cost that women have to foot – men have to foot costs too.Although, of course, a child with two parents in an unhealthy relationship could be worse off than they would be with just one involved parent.From the perspective of his long term mate value (relationship value), the more women a man sleeps with without an emotional investment, the more he loses value. But remember, we’re not talking from a biological perspective now.Losing the commitment or investment of a man we already decided was good in some way, or even just good looking, can be devastating. (To have anything other than a clitoral orgasm, such as a cervical orgasm, you have to be a lot softer, more relaxed, a lot more trusting, and emotionally open.
Yes, there are women out there who use men for sex, and I am starting to consider the possibility that mostly, these types of women are oriented towards the clitoral orgasm and prefer to get off rather than connect and commit themselves deeply. That kind of orgasm in itself will demand some form of emotional connection with the man, which renders the woman terribly vulnerable to the man). Any money will do, and then you get paid that 1%, lose your house and feel miserable about it. This is the same reason many women have such pain and suffering after this very thing happens.they are involved in friends with benefits situation or in a fuck buddy situation; because men get emotionally involved too, when the sex isn’t just casual.However, in casual sex where the man is not emotionally invested in her, women almost always lose something of value.Maybe one day in the (far away) future of evolution, that will be the case, but it’s not the case for now.Just in case you thought women were the only ones who lose something from having many sexual partners….From just a biological perspective, a man risks nothing of value.